Hearing hearts has nothing to do with iPODs

I have noticed it many times before and I see it everyday around me. This time I was on the way back to Pune from Kolhapur the other day. I was traveling on a bus and everyone in the bus who was in reach of my sight was on phone for most of the time throughout the journey. These days while walking or traveling on road I see that eight persons out of 10 are either on phone or plugged in with some other audio device, even if they have somebody walking with them. My point of disappointment here is that 'most of the time we are not with the people mentally whom we are walking physically with'.

I remember those two weeks in the year 2007 when I had given up using mobile phone because it(the mobile) was busy half the hours I was awake in a day. Thank God, I realized it then that I was spending more time on phone than with real people.

Music is not bad, talking to loved ones is great, passing time while traveling is necessary but why has mobile phone replaced beautiful people is something I find hard to accept. I love kids and like to spend time with them as much as possible. These days I have seen children playing more with my phone or laptop than they would like to spend time with me. It is frustrating! I am sure many of you have noticed that. Is it because gadgets are probably more attractive than real people? or is it because real people are too boring to spend a lot of time with? I do not know the answer either. But I have come across the real problem, I guess.

I have heard many young people telling me that they need to spend time on movies or on their iPODs because they need to refresh themselves. They are tired. They are bored. They are lonely. They are uncomfortable, they say. They are lost and suffering, I say. Children have stopped talking openly to parents long back. Parents have stopped asking what their kids are up to? No one of us have time to listen to others and we cannot even recollect when was the time that we learned there is nobody to listen to us. We have no time to hear and even if somebody stands with us pouring out their heart, our heart is not in the same place there. It's a pathetic situation of all of us.

It is a sad fact that we have no time to share and we have no time to listen. Try giving some time to hear somebody and you will enjoy the satisfactions in their eyes. Shall we encourage someone to speak? Shall we listen to unheard voices? Shall we discover unspoken words? Shall we hear speaking hearts? Believe me, hearing hearts has nothing to do with iPODs.


Note: I have used iPOD as a generic word for music players and other gadgets that we may get addicted to.

Problem of Being Right

My heart moved in pain when I read the story of a Chinese boy that sold his kidney to buy an iPad2.

The story is here: http://digitallife.today.com/_news/2011/06/02/6772047-boy-sells-kidney-for-ipad-2

Just a 17 year boy did something I cannot even imagine that someone can actually go to such extent. What is it that made him do that? Curiosity? Covetousness? Greed? Was he mislead? Was he foolish? Childness? Or something else you may imagine?

Many times it is impossible to tell what exactly drew somebody to their decision to take certain action. Most of the arguments, I think, are a result of one single problem and it’s when both the parties try to prove they are correct. I call it a “Problem of Being Right”.

Dr. Ravi Zacharias asks a question in his book, Recapture the Wonder. Have you ever been absolutely certain that you placed something somewhere only to discover later that it was never there at all? It happens to us quite often. I tend to blame somebody else for misplacing something that I have lost. Even then I say, “I AM RIGHT”. They are the times I deliberately overlook the mistake I have made and jump in the “Problem of being Right”. Whenever there is an argument at least one party must be wrong in a given situation. There cannot be two opposite truths. Why then everyone thinks he is right. Have you ever been in the “Problem of Being Right”?

One young man came to the Master and asked, “Teacher, what good thing must I do to get eternal life?” He asked him to follow God’s commandments. The man said I have been doing it all my life. Then the teacher said, “If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.” When the young man heard this, he went away sad, because he had great wealth.

We always want things to happen the way we want. We want to hear that pleases us. The young man went away, he thought he was right. When he sold the kidney, the Chinese boy, thought he was right.

King David said, “Who can notice every mistake? Forgive my hidden faults, Lord.” I should take care that I am not making the same mistake of portraying myself right or correct. At least when I am not, perhaps. If I fail to learn from my “Problem of Being Right” nobody can save me from the possible miseries ahead of it.

Right from early school days we are often asked to write on our hobbies. Our hobbies reflect our character. Habits, many times, explain what is a particular person more inclined to or what is he less interested in. People know you by what you pay attention to and what are the things that you just don't want to get into.

You may be somebody who jumps in the discussion if they are talking about cricket, soccer, tennis or any other sports you may like. And they know that you follow sports. If you don't give in for the discussion they say you are not interested. You may be someone who likes to talk about politics of your country. There are people who will sit with you for a long time if you are talking about movies. There are people who like to share thoughts with you if you are a reader. There are people that stop to listen to jokes. There are people that like to take part in office gossips. There are people that are sweet spoken, there are people that abuse. There are people who are helpful, there are people who just misuse. Some are childish others proud. Some are intelligent others seem foolish. Some care and some simply neglect. Some like certain food and others don't. The list is big. I have mentioned very few here.

One instance in my family last year made me aware of the fact that people still think that 'I may get angry very easily'. In fact this was my nature. My habit. My character. As a teenager I used to get angry quickly and that earned me an image of a short-tempered person. It will be useless to go and tell everyone every time that I am not angry on them unless my response to the situation shows that. They judge me by my response.

So, it is crucial for me to know how I respond to different things every day. My repetitive response to certain situations or things becomes my habit. Ovid says, "Habits change into character". Now, it is even more important to give some time to think about those habits and their effects. They are my KRAs. My Key Response Areas. My response talks about my temperament. My response talks about my understanding. My response tells who I am. My Key Response Areas are something that needs my attention. And they are what shape the man inside me.

One of my friends and I were talking about the characteristics of the people from different countries of the world. One thing that strikes me most was that he said, “I like to read faces but I have noticed that it’s very hard to read people from certain parts of the world because they have very mixed emotions or rather they do not express themselves easily to others”.

As a human being we all have mastered the art of putting on faces. People learn it and do it by their experience to achieve something and we say they are diplomatic. Some do it deliberately to mislead others is what we may call a shrewd. Large number of people in one group commonly found everywhere is that who do it because they do not want others to know their short comings and want to portray themselves more than what they are, though not all the time but definitely some times. Now, have you just said to yourself? “This is me, probably”. I wouldn't want to call you a name. :)

Many philosophers, spiritual teachers and motivational speakers have talked enough about this and many are still doing that. For us the irony in learning is that we fail to apply the truth in life in spite of the fact that we have perfectly understood everything.

When I sit down every evening and ask myself, “Anil, did you try to pretend to be something that you are not in order to just please someone?” I proudly answer, “NO” but I am scared what if I haven’t known. What if I haven’t known that I did pretend?

Now read this carefully because when you look around next time you are sure to get astonished.

Today when I think about the attitudes that we carry my heart is troubled. Abusing and accusing has become our habit. Cheating is fashion. While we talk all sorts of good things about others doubts override and trusting becomes an utter joke. We act against our own nature so often. We change faces now and then. So many different faces we have and we try to figure out who we are. Isn’t every person a Face-book himself? An album that contains different faces of THE SAME person again and again on every single page?

It is so wonderfully written: ‘The king is the friend of all who are sincere and speak with kindness.’ Proverbs 22:11

If my heart stays sincere and my speech is kind I am offered a friendship of the king. If we all do that we all can be the common friends of the king sitting at his table in a grand fellowship each one of us with only one true face. Oh! It’s so wonderful.

It is not that there is no one trustworthy for anything at all. We are made in God’s image and He is trustworthy. Even a fraction of His trustworthiness in us can do wonders in this world. So, go ahead. Try something good for somebody and feel the difference that others find it difficult to feel. God has kept wonderful people around you and he loves them. Jump high, make merry and give glory to God because he has blessed you with huge bunch of good people. He has blessed me with many such.

I was studying about the gifts of God to man. And I was wondering how people use these gifts, rather misuse these gifts knowingly and unknowingly. And I thought I have to write this down.

In his book 'The One Minute Manager', Kenneth Blanchard says that we are bad managers of time. I think we are bad managers of all our gifts too. We harm ourselves and our surrounding by managing our gifts badly.

I get a chance to interact with so many people at my workplace, in my social meetings, friends, family. Studying people spontaneously has come naturally to me. Every person I meet has some incredible gift in him. Yes, even you who are reading this not an exception to it. In fact I must have even told you about some of your gifts at some point.

Many of us keep running because we are not supposed to stop in the race. Hello…? Will you pause for a movement and ask yourself where am I going? Are you doing exactly what you want to do? Are you doing exactly what you can do? Just ask yourself where am I heading to? What am I supposed to do?

I was talking to a friend the other day and told about one of the qualities that he has which he never thought of. He said, “Oh yes, I know it and I can do that!” So many times we experience the same and we wonder we never knew that. There is so much for me to discover in myself that I would enjoy being amazed to find something everyday.

Let us not waste the treasures in us. You are gifted with unique gifts and you are responsible to nurture, use, multiply and distribute them. What if you have to give an account of it one day. I know we all have to.

Hoplessness to Hope Eternal

One of the most hopeless lives that I had seen in the decade of 1990s was my own life. Yes, hopeless in all the areas.

This decade, 2001-2010 has been a journey from hopelessness to hope eternal. Last 2 decades many of you have seen this change and many of you might not have even noticed that. I am grateful to God for you being a part of my journey. If you are someone whom I have known personally, met somewhere sometime or even just talked to you once then I believe that you have helped me to learn or unlearn something someway. You have been a blessing to me and I thank you for that.

I am entering this decade with a great hope to see God’s plans unfold and am happy to have you with me to share these blessings together.

I wish you a blessed 2011